Alan’s Perverted Musings > March Edition

It’s that time again! Time for Alan’s perverted musings ……

xlisapoox: mooo [my way of saying hello]
Alan: i’m feeling pervier than usual, so imagine me staring at your boobs through the screen

Alan: huh, according to my blog, my computer is 5 years old
Alan: time to upgrade!
xlisapoox: o. wy
Alan: because having an old computer isn’t conducive to playing tons of new games
Alan: and porn sometimes tends to lag
Alan: do you know how off-putting that is?
Alan: it’s like watching a badly dubbed foreign movie

Alan: according to sigmund freud, everything a man ever does is to get sex
Alan: go to work? earn money so he can attract females so he can have sex
Alan: go to the gym? get a hotter body to attract women so he can have sex
Alan: eat food? survive longer so he can have sex
Alan: masturbate? sex practice
Alan: for some people, money or health or survival would themselves be purpose enough
Alan: for guys? they’re actually part of the process of getting sex

Alan: i just asked a hot girl to come over to my desk to help me look at a document i was having trouble with, and she was leaning over my desk and i got to stare at her boobs through the whole discussion 😀

Alan: sure, but after my wedding, cause weekends are hectic for me these days
Alan: seriously, if you ever get married, just do the registration thing
xlisapoox: what do u spend ur weekends doing
Alan: looking at the long list of things i have yet to do, and then masturbating
xlisapoox: so techincally u’re nto really busy, u’re just procrastinating?
Alan: busy procrastinating
Alan: and masturbating
Alan: these chickens won’t choke themselves, you know

Alan: female coworker just caught me staring at her butt! 😀
xlisapoox: and wat was her reaction
Alan: well, she was in the kitchen making tea
Alan: and i was walking in there, and enjoying the view of her butt
Alan: then she turned to me, then immediately turned back and sort of twisted her body away
Alan: and i made sure to stare vacantly into space, to make it plausible that while i was staring at the general direction of her butt, i was too deep in thought to actually stare at it

xlisapoox: and today is allergy day. i am le dying
Alan: on the bright side though
Alan: uh
Alan: ok, can’t think of one
Alan: well, at least can’t think of any that aren’t pervy
xlisapoox: how the hell can u make allergies pervy
Alan: tell me about how you’re breathing hard and are dripping fluids